[Week 7] Bahahahahahahahahahahaha
Bahahaha hahahaha haha ha. Cheese. Come on man. I know they say never to victim blame in a situation like this but my God man you were asking for it. You were practically wearing a bikini to skid row. You dropped the soap in the prison showers. You willingly accepted
Antonio Gibson
.
Mike, I guess I should say you're welcome for
Jeff Wilson
. Glad Cheese could hold onto him for a few weeks. Can i hire you for the sales team at my company? Clearly you know how to sell some shit.
In actual fantasy news, I took one for the team and lost to Absentee Ben so that he'd stay away from the group chat, giving Ben his ellusive 2nd epileptic squirrel for the year. Now
Brooks
is free to continue BernieBro-ing his democratic shit all over the group chat. That keeps Ben in a tie for first place, edging out
Brooks
by just 32 points for. Broullire had a nice lil bounceback win against
Wesley
, escaping the cellar and ALMOST causing Wes to win the JMHM. Mike also came close to a JMHM in his surprising loss to Drayer, but alas it was the man the myth the legend himself, Jimothy Martin who took home his namesake award this week - -
***Shit, baby's crying and i've got another work call coming up, gotta make this quick.
Collin also beat da pirate, and Colby NARROWLY pulled one out over Neil.
This is the overall lowest scoring week since Week 9 last year, and the league's scoring this season so far is the lowest 6 week start since 2017. Well done gentlemen.
Nerds tell me that Neil is still the lowest scorer in the league this season, but teams are also SCORING the lowest amount of points against him at a surprising 511 total Points Against. So Butters is still hanging in there, dangling his dangler right above the cellar where a hungry Jim awaits.
Predictions for this week - -
Somehow, some way Wes gets his dub against me and I cry in shame. Ben and Mike meet in a heavyweight clash but there ain't stoppin' Ben when
Taylor
Swift
is on and baby it's a love story. MB continues his winning ways, pantsing the Pirate.
Brooks
ain't losing to Drayer, especially not now that Drayer's team is as dried up as Nancy Pelosi. Collin does some straight up mean shit to Neil and they don't talk to each other again til next year's draft. FantasyPros has both Jim and Colby in the Top 5 for teams this week. I don't smoke what they're smoking. Colby and Jim slap some dicks and fuck around for awhile until, much like their wrestling match, Colby winds up on top.
Broullire. I've predicted you like twice for the damn squirrel. Just take it already, okay?!
Have you looked at Drayer's team this week?
If this isn't Jim and Colby then I'm a monkey's uncle.
Dawgs are off before dismantling Florida and putting Tennessee in their place. Early lines have the WLOCP as -15.5 and UGA/UT as -11 and damnit hammer them Dawgs in both cases. They is hell don't they.
Go Dawgs, Go Jumpshots, Go America!
-Commish
Onto the Rankings!
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Playoff Rankings - Week Seven
(remember that this is looking at your schedule and estimating 1) final rank, 2) final record, 3) odds of making the playoffs. 4) odds of becoming champion. This will change every week (mostly.)
1(+0). It's A
Love
Story 5-1 9-5 94% 22%
2(+0). Ben Has A Bengina 5-1 9-5 93% 20%
3(+0). **SHOKITINI SAKE BOIZ** 4-2 8-6 83% 17%
4(+0). HopfCenter4Kidz WhoCantReadGood 4-2 8-6 76% 11%
5(+0). StevedaPirateII Bck4DatATHBooty 3-3 7-7 46% 6%
6(+4).
Zach Wilson
's Mormon Harem 2-4 6-8 41% 5%
- - - - - - - - - - - Playoff Line - - - - - - - - - - -
7(-1). Wes's Ja Morant Jump Shot 3-3 6-8 41% 5%
8(+0). TheCurse Continued 3-3 6-8 30% 4%
9(-2). I Need A DUB 2-4 6-8 29% 3%
10(+1). Waffle Champ 2-4 6-8 29% 5%
11(+1). Desparation Name Change 1-5 5-9 19% 2%
12(-3). Stetson IV Heisman 2-4 5-9 19% 2%
