2013 Commish Recap

(written April 2022)

Ahh, the league is beginning to take shape. Dan, Sean, and John dropped out and Collin and Garrett joined back up. They were followed by our very own CHEESEDICK ROBERTSON. That’s right ladies and gentlemen, we didn’t have Wesley in the league until 2013.

The written history of the 2013 league year begins in July when Broullire began emailing bros, trying to drum up support for bringing back the fantasy league. Unfortunately, he had the wrong email for Garrett, which led to this amazing email which continues to live in infamy in our league to this day:

Greg Fenton, unrelated to Garrett Fenton, remains on our shortlist for replacements should any of you losers decide to wimp out and leave.

Anyways, Broullire wound up finding 12 folks to fill the league and found a lakehouse in Eatonton for the draft. Mike, Collin, and Jim all bitched out from attending, but fun was had by all. Broullire organized the Wonderlic test which Wes scored an 11 and I dominated fair and square.
This is the only picture/video I could find from the draft that year. And no, I don’t know what it’s in reference to.
This is also the year that we decided to vote on a winner’s trophy and name it after my exgirlfriend!

Anyways, in 2013 we decided to call the league, “If you’re not first, you’re last” and thankfully this was the final year we let Broullire choose the league names. Jim ultimately won, and we officially said goodbye to Broullire’s reign as commissioner.
The Commish is dead, long live the Commish.

A few team names I found:
- This Wedding is Horseshit — Brooks Sawyer
- two years two Oltmans — Matt Broullire
- Hernandez’s Pistol Offense (yikes) — Jeff Ostenson
- Knew the Whole Time, Bitches! — Colby Grant
- Butters Sarcastaballers — Neil Bramblett
- Suck it Trebek — Jim Martin

Oh yeah, and then Broullire emailed Greg Fenton again in January:

2013 Draft Board

• The First Kicker off the board was Stephen Gostkowski, drafted by Collin Hopf in the 8th Round.

• The First Defense off the board was the Bears D/ST, drafted by Collin Hopf in the 6th Round.

• The Eventual “Oltman” Winner, Jim Martin drafted 7th overall.

2012 Commish Recap

(written April 2022)

Ahh, 2012, also known as the WTF year. Cody and Garrett Fenton left the league, which although we didn’t know at the time, was fate - - but they were inexplicably joined by one Collin Janice Hopf. What was wrong Collin? Shit too busy down at the ol’ Bait Shack? Regardless, they were easily replaced by the three one hit wonders, Sean Young, John Gable, and Dan Elliott. (ironically Sean and Dan remain on the shortlist for replacements should any of you losers choose to leave going forward.)

I really don’t remember much about this year except that Commish Broullire eventually won. We called ourselves “Old Man’s League” this year, because we were all either postgrads or super seniors. Unfortunately, most of my old emails from the 2012 league have been lost to the internet junkyard, as I used my old Pardot email address that year, but here are the team names that I have found:
- Swarley Fitzgerald — Colby Grant
- Taste Dwayne Bowe — Brooks Sawyer (week 6)
- Feelin' Luck-y Bay-Bay — Brooks Sawyer (week 8)
- Drayer idolizes Sandusky — Matt Broullire (this name eventually put on trophy)
- Kneel and Te-Blow Me — Neil Bramblett

This is also the year that Brooks and Colby traded about 25 times throughout the year, leading many to believe that Colby was just a puppet-state team for Brooks to collude with. I’m not saying it was true but PEOPLE WERE ASKING QUESTIONS.

2012 Draft Board

• The First Kicker off the board was Stephen Gostkowski, drafted by Jeff Ostenson in the 9th Round.

• The First Defense off the board was the Texans D/ST, drafted by Sean Young in the 6th Round.

• The Eventual “Oltman” Winner, Matt Broullire drafted 7th overall.

2011 Commish Recap

(written April 2022)

This is it, where it all began. Twelve young dumbasses crowded into the Broullire/Drayer/Hopf/Harbin(?) residence and began drinking from a giant pot of gin & tonic and the rest is history. It’s crazy to look back on the 2011 season and realize that the league was 83% the same as it is today, with Garrett Fenton and Cody Schmelter playing the roles of Wes Robertson and Stephen Robison. Back then, Broullire was Commissioner and we went by the insanely original name “The League.”

We were so young and dumb in so many ways, but also in the world of fantasy. Colby drafted a Qb 6th overall. Neil drafted a kicker named Neil in the 7th round. Personally, I RARELY watched the NFL before 2011, and then all of a sudden I was thrusted into both this league and a league at work (The Loft.) Brooks was the only one among us that knew anything, and it showed by him running train throughout the season. The only thing I remember about my own season was that it was fizzling until midseason when I picked up Tim Tebow who Ben had dropped to waivers. Timmy T took me all the way to the championship game where I inevitably lost to Brooks, and that remains the highest I’ve ever placed to this day. I still hate fantasy football.

Brooks demoralized us all so greatly that Collin, Cody, and Garrett all decided to quit after just one year. Wimps.

Looking through old emails, in Week 4 our team names were:
- Fear Boners Fear Boners
- drayer needs kegel weights
- N Jackson St. Drinkers
- BroyerHasRomo Sexualtendences
- Password is Taco
- TDs ‘N Beer
- PFC Graham
- Wes Loves Rosie O’Donnell
- Matthasalittled ick.com
- Team Fenton
- Tits’burgh Feelers
- Des nutts

I don’t know who’s was who’s, but hot damn guys…. wow.

2011 Draft Board

• The First Kicker off the board was Neil Rackers, drafted by Neil Bramblett in the 7th Round.

• The First Defense off the board was the Steelers D/ST, drafted by Collin Hopf in the 8th Round.

• The Eventual “Oltman” Winner, Brooks Sawyer drafted 5th overall.