[Week 11] Pour that damn scotch down the drain
**Editor's Note** - - Yeah I try and get these out before TNF and I missed that boat. My B. At least it's not a true shorty though! Also, this coming on Friday allows me to fuckin' gloat about picking up Christian *the goat*
Watson
. 8 catches the past two weeks and 5 of them were TDs? that's some
Gabe Davis
shit (who admittedly I gave up as part of this shake up, lol.) How Neil was the only other person to bid on him, and at $18, blows me away. Enjoy Michael "5.2pt Average"
Gallup
,
Benjamin
. Anyways, onto the post - - -
Ugh. I cannot even begin to tell you how pissed at
AJ Brown
I am. He totally
Thielen
'ed me out of a nice bottle of scotch. What, you can't catch like one more fucking pass? I got so damn lucky when all of
Brooks
' SNF players underperformed, who could have guessed I'd have the same thing happen to me the following night?! As such,
Brooks
and I had yet another closest matchup with him eeking it out.
A win last week would've put my playoff hopes full steam ahead. Instead, I remain the bubbliest of bubble teams just praying to make the cut. Perfect time to lose my TE and panic-trade with Wes for his. *finger-guns*
In theory, I could be starting
Gabe Davis
and
Cole Kmet
, but instead I'm starting
Christian Watson
and TJ Hock. upgrade? severe downgrade? Time shall tell. In previous years I've had a pretty nasty habit of giving the shittiest team in the league a win and lo and behold, The Fightin' Brambletts are rolling into town. Fuck my life. More on that later.
Elsewhere in the league - -
Stephen juuuust about got doubled up by NEIL. Did Neil score high triple digies? nah. Stephen just scored the 7th worst score in league history. lolololololololol. Needless to say, they slapped salamis and Stephen grabbed the JMHM easily. Mike released his raging boner all over Colby (Colby didn't mind) and came in third for the squirrel. Wes handled Jim like the year was 2010 in Room 2 at SigEp. Ben won. and Matthew Motherfuckin' Drayer took my LM Note encouragement from last week seriously and demolished Broullire en route to his second squirrel of the year. Well done, no notes.
Looking at this week:
Honestly, who the fuck knows what's going to happen when Neil and I take the field. I have confidence, but Neil is a sexual deviant who can convince just about anybody he meets to take of their pants and swing meat, so Imma say Neil pulls it out (literally) and he and I get the DSFGotW.
Brooks
plays with his food against Colby. Jim's team is bad. Stephen's team might be worse now. Jim on Top. Collin rebounds against Mike. Wes and Drayer should be a good matchup on paper, but I've got a sneaking suspicion it gets a lil dickslappy. Drayer on top though. Finally the smart bet is not on whether or not Ben wins (he does.) The bet is on whether Broullire (or his boss?) sets his lineup in time and misses on a CGRANT fee. My money is on no, lol.
So, for the projected awards, I believe:
I think
Brooks
reaches his final form and takes the squirrel.
Stephen's was hilarious last week. Neil's always a candidate. But This one is Broullire's all the way this week.
Now THIS is an easy one to pencil Neil's matchup in, you randy man, you. Neil and I duel dongs this week.
Dawgs locked up the East, now the next two weeks are gravy. We'll be looking to keep things as vanilla as possible and keep everyone as healthy as possible. Hopefully our O-Line lets us run the damn ball because that's what Kirby is going to want to do this week and get out of Lexington asap. Look for Daijun to keep looking like RB2, and you know what? Imma say that
Kendall Milton
proves my doubt wrong and has himself a day. Dawgs keep it boring and stay the most underrated #1 team in history, 35-3.
Go Dawgs, Go SadSacs, Go America!
-'misshhhhh
Onto the Rankings!
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
Playoff Rankings - Week Eleven
(remember that this is looking at your schedule and estimating 1) final rank, 2) final record, 3) odds of making the playoffs. 4) odds of becoming champion. This will change every week (mostly.)
1(+0). It's A
Love
Story 9-1 11-3 100% 31%
2(+0). Ben Has A Bengina 7-3 9-5 97% 22%
3(+2). TeamNameWon'tBe OnTrophyAnyway 6-4 8-6 86% 11%
4(+0). HopfCenter4Kidz WhoCantReadGood 6-4 8-6 85% 11%
5(-2). **SHOKITINI SAKE BOIZ** 5-5 7-7 67% 9%
6(+0). Mikey
Elliott
's SadSac Emporium 5-5 7-7 51% 4%
- - - - - - - - - - - Playoff Line - - - - - - - - - - -
7(+1). Whoop That Trick 5-5 7-7 50% 6%
8(+1). Desparation Name Change 4-6 6-8 24% 2%
9(+1).
Zach Wilson
's Mormon Harem 4-6 6-8 22% 2%
10(-3). StevedaPirateII Bck4DatATHBooty 4-6 6-8 15% <1%
11(+1). Stetson IV Heisman 3-7 5-9 2% <1%
12(-1). Waffle Champ 2-8 4-10 <1% <1%
