The Cheese No Longer Stands Alone - Week 6 Recap & Week 7 Rankings
Don't call it a comeback, Wes has been here for years. Mr. Robertson is staring in the face of a two-game winning streak, with a (sorry Mike) seemingly-beatable 3-Cup PTSD standing in his way. Get a win here, and he could be looking at mid-standings territory. I'll say it now, if Cheese makes the playoffs after the way he drafted and began this season, I will officially give SO MUCH SHIT to everyone who doesn't. Come on guys, get it together.
Dawgs lost, Braves lost, Falcons got further from a meaningful draft pick. Wes is "surging," Drayer remains undefeated despite a rousing effort from Judge Harbin. Quite the disappointing sports weekend all the way around. I know we're all sick of hearing this around these parts, but brighter days are indeed ahead. Dawgs will get another shot at Bama. Braves have an amazingly young team. Wes is still Wes. Let's all take this CFB bye week to recoup and come next week, Optimism Jeff will be back in action ready to help y'all drown those Wildcats. Onto the recaps and rankings!
Jim v. Jeff - 111.7 - 111.96 - - Wooooooooooow. a couple more yards from Amari Cooper and I would've been screwed. This one got way too damn close by the end of Sunday, but thankful it provided some solid entertainment in an otherwise shitshow of a game.
Stephen v. Collin - 85.91 - 82.41 - - Stephen, welcome back to the win column. Insane that this close win over Collin vaulted you to 4th in the league, but that's what happens when we've got the amount of parity we have. On Collin's side, I haven't seen NEARLY as much shit tossed his way as we typically toss toward Wes/Mike/Broullire. Guys, Collin now has sole possession of the cellar. Surely we can get some shittalking going in the chat.
Wes v. Neil - 113.9 - 71.5 - - Woof. Sub-80 weeks are fairly rare but nevertheless entirely painful, and to have it happen against Wes of all people. That has to sting, Butters. Y'all, Wes had the 3rd-highest score last week. Play some defense, Neil!
Broullire v. Mike - 116.3 - 90.1 - - SPEAKING of cellar-dwellers showing up and showing out, damn Broullire! The man who showered with Collin DESPERATELY wanted to get out of the cellar with him, and did so at the expense of Mike. Was it a flash in the pan or can he maintain?
Ben v. Drayer - 85.15 - 99.85 - - Ah, the one that got away. This is now Drayer's second close call. But, as the DGD Stetson Bennett IV says, good teams win but great teams cover. After all the gnashing of teeth throughout the weekend, Drayer still managed to cover his original line and beat #2 Ben by 14.7.
Colby v. Brooks - 102.78 - 149.18 - - Well this one sure seemed like it was going in a different direction! That was before Derrick Henry said "fuck that" and had himself a day. Then Kenyan Drake jumped up and said "Derrick's not the only one who gains energy whenever Bama destroys souls!" and had himself a day as well. Well, the Dawgs' losses were Brooks' gains as he roundly Colbied Colby right out of the projected playoff.
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Coming up this week, Wes and Broullire get to try and continue their ascension against Mike & Colby, respectively. Collin gets to try and work his way out of the cellar against my team (God, please, no,) Brooks gets to test himself against a self-proclaimed paper tiger in Ben, Neil will try and rebound against a pissed-off Jim, and Drayer gets to beat up on his biffle Stephen.
Rest up, enjoy the bye week, pray for JT Daniel's leg, avoid waffles, and go Tortilla Fight Boiz!
-Commish
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Playoff Rankings - Week Four
(remember that this is looking at your schedule and estimating 1) final rank, 2) final record, 3) odds of making the playoffs. 4) odds of becoming champion. This will change every week (mostly.)
1(+0) Premature Venmolation 6-0 10-3 >99% 32%
2(+0) The Tortilla Fight Boiz 5-1 9-4 97% 24%
3(+0) Hope n' Hopf GA Guvnah 2030 4-2 8-5 76% 8%
4(+2) Aggressive Ass Wipe Walk-in 3-3 7-6 72% 11%
5(+0) COVID Jesus 2-4 6-7 52% 7%
6(+1) My Name's Not Adam Schifter 3-3 6-7 44% 4%
- - - - - - - - - - - Playoff Line - - - - - - - - - - -
7(-3) Collins Got Pussy Boy Tires 2-4 6-7 39% 4%
8(+0) Blackout BTK's Booty Shorts 3-3 6-7 37% 3%
9(+2) 3 Cup Beer Pong PTSD 3-3 6-7 37% 3%
10(-1) Marginal Fucks Given 2-4 5-8 26% 2%
11(-1) mike lil pp 1-5 4-9 11% <1%
12(+0) I Am Wesley Snipes 2-4 4-9 9% <1%
