Damnit Collin... AGAIN - Week 7 Recap & Week 8 Rankings
If Losing to Collin in Fantasy were in and of itself a sport, I'd take gold. Thankfully, there were no waffles on the line this time, just my pride and a shot at being tied with Drayer. NUTS! For those of you who didn't stay up on Sunday commiserating with Brooks, Mike, and myself, I LITERALLY needed a 20 yard touchdown catch from DK Metcalf to put me ahead. What did he give me in Overtime? Exactly. Fucking. That. HOWEVER, his fucking teammate held a defender, so no dice. Had last year's Kim Bowl gone this way, I would've written that teammate's name on every goddamn waffle I had to eat. That was miserable.
Elsewhere in the league, The Last of the Stephicans acquired his ultimate scalp by taking down Drayer. Mike and Wes slapped each other with their dicks for a little while until Wes finally emerged victorious. (Kim Bowl preview?) Broullire laid WASTE to Colby. Seems to be a recurring theme for our longhaired one. Can Wes pull it off this week? Should he do that, There's a strong chance he'll be above the red line when I write next week's post. Colby, this whole losing thing has been fun and provided us all with a whole lot of enjoyment, but I don't know that we could deal with Formula Bitch Boy making the playoffs. Put him back in his rightful spot, please.
Coming up this week, Collin gets a shot at the #1 team after already taking out #2, can he pull off the doubleheader? Stephagawea (Stephahontas? one of those.) takes aim at a fully erect and raging Brooks (get it? he's a penis.) Neil catches me in midst of bye week hell and may even get CMC back tomorrow. (Cool cool cool cool cool.) Ben & Broullire have what looks like a competitive matchup. Aaaanddd the aforementioned Colby/Wes showdown that has the looks of being this week's Dick Slappin' Special. Jim and Mike also play.
It was pointed out in the group chat, but Colby and Jim have the 3rd & 4th most Points For, and yet are 10th and 12th, respectively. I don't have a lot of jokes on that, I just thought it was goddamn hilarious.
Dawgs get the Cats on Spooky Saturday. Let's show up, do our job, and get home. Hoping to see The Mailman back to his usual self, and maybe the emergence of Kendall Milton? Let's Fucking Go.
Go Dawgs, Go Tortilla Fight Boiz, Go America.
-The Commish
PS - typing "Go America" right then just made me realize that there's a chance we have a new President-elect by the time I write next week's post. There's also a chance that regardless of who wins, people will be burning shit down. So, assuming we aren't already in a postapocalyptic wasteland by next Wed, you'll get my LM Note on time!
Onto the rankings!
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Playoff Rankings - Week Four
(remember that this is looking at your schedule and estimating 1) final rank, 2) final record, 3) odds of making the playoffs. 4) odds of becoming champion. This will change every week (mostly.)
1(+0) Premature Venmolation 6-1 10-3 >99% 32%
2(+0) The Tortilla Fight Boiz 5-2 8-5 92% 18%
3(+1) Aggressive Ass Wipe Walk-in 4-3 7-6 82% 15%
4(-1) Cancel 2020 4-3 7-6 1% 8%
5(+3) Blackout BTK's Booty Shorts 4-3 7-6 66% 8%
6(+0) My Name's Not Adam Schifter 4-3 7-6 62% 7%
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7(+3) Marginal Fucks Given 3-4 6-7 36% 3%
8(-3) COVID Jesus 2-5 5-8 31% 4%
9(-2) Collins Got Pussy Boy Tires 2-5 5-8 22% 2%
10(+1) mike lil pp 2-5 5-8 16% 1%
11(-2) 3 Cup Beer Pong PTSD 3-4 5-8 13% <1%
12(+0) Fuck Me Until You Love Me 3-4 5-8 11% <1%
