Drayer's Brush With Certain Doom - Week 4 Recap & Week 5 Rankings

So, I was looking over the stats of our league the other day, and I really wanted to compare the margins between Points For and Points Against for our teams. Some interesting things cropped up, especially at the bottom of our table. First, Wes' negative margin is absolutely off the charts bad. Like, historically. Not only is he definitively scoring the least, but everybody else is just straight up TEEING OFF against him. I don't know why we all decided to make the worst team our punching bag, but it's an unspoken agreement that we've all met. Wes' Points Against is 574.74. That is as if he played Drayer every single week of the year AND THEN SOME. (Drayer's Points For is 552.83.) Fun for him? He's got yet another matchup w/ Drayer later on in his schedule.

All of that being said though, you want to know what the difference is between 0-4 and 2-2? Brooks has only scored 50 points more than Wes so far (avg. 98.56/game vs. 86.15/game), but folks have scored 100 points less against him. (avg. 118.59/game vs. 143.94/game!!!) That last stat is insane. 143 points would be most of our best week ever (Drayer aside,) but Wes has had to face that every single week. Don't get me wrong his team is hot garbage player-wise, but there's also very little he can do. Work your appetite up, big Cheese. WaHo's calling.

What about the difference in 1-3 and 3-1? Ben has scored an average of 107.39/game. Broullire has scored an average of 117.13/game. Yet Ben sits at #2 in the league while Broullire's down at #10. The difference? Ben's opponents have scored an average of 98.38 and Broullire's have scored an average of 111.74. That's it. I tell y'all what it's a silly game all about the margins where the ball bounces funny sometimes.

Speaking of... Damnit Mike!! You had a chance at glory! Drayer was weak, limping to his lowest point total by far, but like Bo Nix, you crumbled under the bright lights. I'll cover that matchup more below... but damnnnn I don't know that we'll get a better chance for Drayer to get his first loss!

Other than all of that, Dawgs won, Tortilla Fight Boiz won, Braves won, even Atlanta United won. The Falcons are dead to me until DQ's been DQ'ed from the rest of his Falcons career. It was a good weekend!

Onto the games:

Wesley v. Jeff - 79.9 - 146.81 - - Damn Drayer, you're right. 140 points feels good. I was more than happy to take the Edgar Memorial Award away from Drayer for at least one week, and unfortunately it had to come against the man who tried to nurse Edgar back to health, Mr. Robertson himself. Damn Wes... I can't believe Chubb went down. Can't wait to see how David Montgomery inevitably rescues you from ending up in the Kim Bowl. Absolutely insane that you've never gotten DFL.

Ben v. Stephen - 119.79 - 74.43 - - Ben just cannot stop winning. I think it's all time we rise and recognize the (dis)Honorable Judge Harbin as he slides into 2nd place by virtue of his head to head over me. Stephen on the other hand is on a bit of a slide after starting so hot. He may have to wait a week to right the ship though as he gets the Tortilla Fight Boiz up next!

Broullire v. Jim - 83.93 - 121.27 - - Broullire was bold and decided to forgo the option of picking up replacements for his dual Steeler backfield, and instead rolled with AE and AP. Those 20 points from Murray on the bench would've come in handy I think... Jim turned in another solid team effort, with almost all of his players logging double-digit days.

Colby v. Collin - 130.7 - 126.97 - - Colby didn't get screwed! For once! (Louisville coke van shenanigans aside.) It took Davante's last min. sit and Julio's quiet night, but damnit the COVID Jesus rose again.

Brooks v. Neil - 101.78 - 127.49 - - One of my favorite "rivalries" (aka, the biggest fucking headache of the 2018 year when Neil was threatening to leave,) this has to be Neil's signature win so far. Mike Davis did his best CMC impression and there was a Chark Attack in Jax. Brooks was looking pretty smart for vulturing Mixon out of the wasteland of Wes' team as he took off for about 40 points, but lucky for Neil Kenyan Drake shat the bed. Best hope those Titans can play this week, big Brooksie.

Mike v. Drayer - 84.69 - 96.15 - - Mike, it's absolutely crazy to think that if a couple of extra touchdowns went your way, your squad of wounded warriors might be sitting at 3-1 with the biggest upset of the year under their belts. So strange that the two-headed monster of Jerick McKinnon and Jeff Wilson Jr. didn't somehow take ya to the promised land... Alas, you emerge the absolute enigma of the league sitting at 2-2 yet predicted in the Kim Bowl by most if not all predictions. Carry on, you Enigma of the Oltman Mystical, you.

Coming up this week, we'll all be waiting to see if we'll need another Safe Drop for the Titans/Bills game. Let's hope not, because these COVID reports are realllllly starting to get us closer and closer to a league cancellation. I know Wes and Mike would sigh in relief, but most of the rest of us are in contention. Mike, you had Drayer last week, this week you get Brooks. Wouldn't it be nice for Brooks to no longer be able to talk shit about your team in the group chat? You know what to do. Jim... This entire post next week will be making fun of you if you lose to Wes. Just saying.

Okay, that's about all I've got. Tennessee's comin' down from the hills looking for an ass-whoopin'. Excited to see our LBs feast on Guarantano the way they did Maurer last year.
GO DAWGS, GO TORTILLA FIGHT BOIZ, GO AMERICA!
-The Commish

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Playoff Rankings - Week Four
(remember that this is looking at your schedule and estimating 1) final rank, 2) final record, 3) odds of making the playoffs. 4) odds of becoming champion. This will change every week (mostly.)

1(+0) Premature Venmolation 4-0 9-4 95% 26%
2(+2) The Tortilla Fight Boiz 3-1 8-5 83% 17%
3(+0) Hope n' Hopf GA Guvnah 2030 3-1 8-5 73% 9%
4(+2) Collins Got Pussy Boy Tires 2-2 7-6 67% 12%
5(+0) COVID Jesus 2-2 7-6 66% 11%
6(-4) Aggressive Ass Wipe Walk-in 2-2 7-6 61% 9%
- - - - - - - - - - - Playoff Line - - - - - - - - - - -
7(+0) My Name's Not Adam Schifter 2-2 7-6 50% 7%
8(+3) Blackout BTK's Booty Shorts 2-2 6-7 38% 3%
9(-1) Marginal Fucks Given 1-3 5-8 22% 2%
10(-1) mike lil pp 1-3 5-8 22% 2%
11(+0) 3 Cup Beer Pong PTSD 2-2 5-8 21% 1%
12(+0) I Am Wesley Snipes 0-4 3-10 1% <1%