Week EIGHT Power Poll - I AM THE GREATEST FANTASY PLAYER OF ALL TIME
Okay, let's get one thing straight. My team is hot garbage. My team is the literal modern manifestation of the Valley of Gehenna, where ancient Israelites would perpetually burn their refuse. And yet? AND YET? I beat Drayer.
Ya 'Mish is sitting at 1-6 riding high on a winning streak of one. AS HORRIBLE AS MY TEAM IS, there's a possibility that Drayer's may be worse. And man, I'll ride that high all the way to WaHo. Now there's actually a chance I won't be there to eat, but only to instead watch the newlywed gorge himself on those golden discs of butter and syrup.
I have my doubts about getting any more wins the rest of this season, but I'll always have that glorious Week 7. My bye week hell next week ought to be fun, though. I take on Colby and my starting RBs will be two out of the following three: David Montgomery, Mark Walton, and JD McKissic. Three powerhouses. My team right now literally hinges on Alvin Kamara and Sterling Shepard remaining out. cool cool cool cool cool.
Okay, elsewhere in the league, it seems Brooks is pulling a Patriots and finally rounding into usual form. Awesome. This league was more fun when he was below the line. Nobody wants a three-time-champion Brooks. Nobody. I think his ego may reach Presidential levels at that point. All of the Rest of Season rankings rank his team as a 100 (mine's a 52 for comparison's sake,) so I'm counting on some of you other good teams to do your part and keep his slimy hands off the Oltman. Colby's up first.
Speaking of the other good teams, Broullire is my surprise Most Improved winner at this point in the season. After starting 0-2 like the rest of us cellar-dwellers, he's gone on a tear. He's scored the most Points For in the league, narrowly edging out Wes. However, he still has Mike and Brooks on his remaining schedule going into the playoffs.
Other games of note last week, Adam knocked Colby down another peg. Ben is actually not bad(?) and Neil and Collin are coming down to hang with Drayer and me in the league's sweet sweet basement.
Coming up this week, we have Colby vs. Brooks in a Top 3 matchup. Y'all have got to come up for a rivalry for this game after all of your long long history of collusion over the years. Colby finally learned how to draft his own draft and manage his own team though, so congratulations. I can hear Brooks' presidential ego already saying "NO COLLUSION, NO OBSTRUCTION!" though, so maybe this should be the Russian Vodka Bowl. Yeah, i probably stretched that metaphor a little too thin, but go fuck yourself.
Adam Sucks,
-Commish
Onto this week's power rankings:
12. - Colby's L'Ville Whistleblower - Jeff Ostenson
Current Record - 1-6, Projected Record - 3-10, Rank Change - SAME, Playoff Odds - 0%
11. - Doesn’tMatter HadSex - Matt Drayer
Current Record - 1-6, Projected Record - 3-10, Rank Change - SAME, Playoff Odds - 0%
10. - Colby Top, Jeff Bottom - Neil Bramblett
Current Record - 2-5, Projected Record -5-8, Rank Change - SAME, Playoff Odds - 5%
9. - Broullire’s FOMO - Collin Hopf
Current Record - 2-5, Projected Record - 5-8, Rank Change - Down 2, Playoff Odds - 17%
8. - Bring Divisions Back - Ben Harbin
Current Record - 4-3, Projected Record - 6-7, Rank Change - Up 1, Playoff Odds - 26%
7. - Frosted Tips 😎🔥 - Adam Schifter
Current Record - 4-3, Projected Record - 7-6, Rank Change - Up 1, Playoff Odds - 51%
-----PLAYOFF LINE-----
6. - Bagels And Brats - Jim Martin
Current Record - 4-3, Projected Record - 7-6, Rank Change - SAME, Playoff Odds - 60%
5. - Team Freddy T's Wifi - Colby Grant
Current Record - 5-2, Projected Record - 8-5, Rank Change - Down 2, Playoff Odds - 79%
4. - Team Ro’Lo - Matt Broullire
Current Record - 5-2, Projected Record - 8-5, Rank Change - Up 1, Playoff Odds - 83%
3. - Team Cut Like Shredder - Wes Robertson
Current Record - 4-3, Projected Record - 8-5, Rank Change - Down 2, Playoff Odds - 85%
2. - It Was One Tit, One Time - Mike Elliott
Current Record - 5-2, Projected Record - 9-4, Rank Change - Up 2, Playoff Odds - 96%
1. - Papa Terry's 2nd Mich Ultra - Brooks Sawyer
Current Record - 5-2, Projected Record - 9-4, Rank Change - Up 1, Playoff Odds - 98%
