Week FIVE Power Poll - no, NOW's when my great comeback begins
Nine weeks left, gentlemen and Wes. I look forward to updating this note at that time sitting at 9-4. Yep, that's right. Calling it now, 9-game winning streak coming up. Jameis let me down out of the gate, but the Crab Leg King is back and is rockin' Bruce Arian's system now. He's looking to assault your teams like he possibly didn't but definitely did assault that girl in college and that female uber driver last year. Gurley's rounding out to his former self, and soon he'll be hurdling folks even if he has to do it one-legged.
(Disclaimer: I'm about 90% full of shit.)
You guys don't read these LM Notes to hear my false bravado about my god-awful team though. Elsewhere in the league, Collin challenged Mike to the League's first ever official rivalry game, and then proceeded to get pantsed 121-63. Enjoy the rum, Big Mike. I'd love for more folks to challenge each other to side bets to make things more interesting. Once my team shows it has a chance of not being fucking terrible, I may challenge someone to a side bet rivalry.
I gotta say, as a relative outsider who's just trying to avoid the SAT who's looking in observing this year of the league, it's been fascinating. Colby's got a stronger stranglehold on 1st place than he did on Jim's neck, Jim and Mike are battling for second place, and then most folks are sitting at 2-2. Brooks is beatable, especially while Saquon is out for a lil bit longer, Drayer(!) is slumming it up near the cellar with me and Ben. All in all, a very irregular, very interesting year in the Oltman so far.
Broullire - the onus falls onto you now to take Colby down a peg. Channel all of your newfound dad-bod strength and take him down.
Mike - you're welcome for Chubb. Damn. I thought i was selling him high, then he went and got higher than Wes at a 311 concert on 4/20. Chubb for Heisman.
If I'm not mentioning you in these posts, I'm sorry. Your team just hasn't done anything interesting.
I gotta start somewhere, and where better than with #11. Gunnin' for ya Big Ben,
-Commish
---------Power Rankings----------
12. - Colby's L'Ville Whistleblower - Jeff Ostenson
Current Record - 0-4, Projected Record - 3-10, Rank Change - SAME, Playoff Odds - 2%
11. - FuckingCatalina WineMixon - Matt Drayer
Current Record - 1-3, Projected Record - 5-8, Rank Change - Down 2, Playoff Odds - 10%
10. - Dissly and the Shits - Ben Harbin
Current Record - 1-3, Projected Record - 5-8, Rank Change - SAME, Playoff Odds - 14%
9. - Frosted Tips 😎🔥 - Adam Schifter
Current Record - 2-2, Projected Record - 6-7, Rank Change - Down 3, Playoff Odds - 34%
8. - Colby Top, Jeff Bottom - Neil Bramblett
Current Record - 2-2, Projected Record - 6-7, Rank Change - SAME, Playoff Odds - 41%
7. - Team Ro’Lo - Matt Broullire
Current Record - 2-2, Projected Record - 6-7, Rank Change - SAME, Playoff Odds - 44%
-----PLAYOFF LINE-----
6. - Papa Terry's 2nd Mich Ultra - Brooks Sawyer
Current Record - 2-2, Projected Record - 6-7, Rank Change - Up 5, Playoff Odds - 46%
5. - Bagels And Brats - Jim Martin
Current Record - 3-1, Projected Record - 7-6, Rank Change - SAME, Playoff Odds - 62%
4. - Broullire’s FOMO - Collin Hopf
Current Record - 2-2, Projected Record - 7-6, Rank Change - Down 1, Playoff Odds - 71%
3. - Team Cut Like Shredder - Wes Robertson
Current Record - 2-2, Projected Record - 8-5, Rank Change - Up 1, Playoff Odds - 87%
2. - It Was One Tit, One Time - Mike Elliott
Current Record - 3-1, Projected Record - 9-4, Rank Change - Down 1, Playoff Odds - 94%
1. - Team Freddy T's Wifi - Colby Grant
Current Record - 4-0, Projected Record - 9-4, Rank Change - Up 1, Playoff Odds - 95%
