**See my last title regarding cockroach : living :: Brooks : winning** - Round 1 Recap & Round 2 Preview
I don't think y'all all really need the loquaciousness that I usually bring to these posts this week, as last week's regular season roundup really put the big ass cherry on top of the shit sundae that was the 2020 fantasy football season. Yes, yes, I know, I am still very much in contention to win the damn thing, but I think any objective third party observer can admit that this season has been about as much fun as a bucket full o' nails in a chuck e. cheese ball pit. Between postponements, last minute IR adds, and *ahem* stat corrections, it's been a barrel full of drunk monkeys for sure. I, for one, am desperately hoping enough idiots in this country have taken a vaccine by the time the 2021 season rolls around, because I'm sure as shit ready for some fuckin' normalcy around these parts.
What a week last week turned out to be though, eh?? I wasn't actively watching any of the games, but I was definitely following along in the app and damn. That was insane.
-Ben got career days out of 3(!) starters in Gesicki, Lamar, and JT, plus a very solid effort by Tyreek, and still came up just short of Brooks in a THRILLING ending to the week's action. I know that Ben's metaphorical waffles this year are gonna have Parker & McManus written ALLLLL over them.
-Colby & Neil went about as expected, unfortunately for Butters. And surprisingly it had nothing to do with CMC being out after all, as Mike Davis gave him about as much production as he could've expected from McCaffrey. Instead, every single one of Neil's pass catchers decided to dip their hands in wet cement and suck ass all at once. Yikes. Neil and Ben now get to battle for 5th place and then retire early to the clubhouse watch the action in the Oltman and Waffle Bowls next week.
-Broullire & Jim exchanged haymakers all throughout the weekend, and I legitimately thought each one had it in the bag multiple times. After the smoke cleared, it wound up being BROULLIRE who emerged victorious and booked his Get Out Of Waffles card in round 1. It's a bit of a shame, as I was really loving the idea of a mid-offseason dudes trip to JAX to heckle him, but I am glad that Roswell(?) (Milton? wait, where do you live Jim?) is a significantly closer trip. Speaking above of writing names on waffles, I think Jim's will have MB on each one should he fall further.
-In yet another VERY close matchup, Stephen eeked by Wes with a margin of 1.11 points. Although granted, Stephen made the last min decision to not risk a fumble and benched Kareem Hunt, leaving 26 extra points on the bench. Regardless, Stephen achieves Waffle Safety in just his first year in the league, and Wes is at risk of syrupy doom. All in all, about where we thought we'd be.
-Finally, the Loser's Bye. I don't think I fully understood just how fucked up our loser's bracket really is, despite becoming intimately familiar with the process last year myself. It makes ZERO sense that Collin is "rewarded" for winning by facing Jim, whereas Mike gets Wes by losing. Y'all, please don't let me forget about this issue in the offseason. Let's make some good decisions about how to best run a loser's bracket so that it's still fun for the rest of us to watch, but makes logical sense. Even just switching these matchups in the future so that the winner plays the easier opponent would make sense.
Either way, we've officially got our Top Four and Bottom Four (tho I think we're all surprised Colby's a Top, if you know what I mean.) Will the Oltman Bowl wind up Bama vs. Clemso-- whoops, I mean Drayer vs. Brooks? Will Colby or myself inject a little newness into it? Will Mike escape the Waffle Bowl? ("just one win, baby!") Who's unpredictable team will reign supreme between Jim & Collin? How high will Wes get before his Waffle House Challenge?
So many questions, just two more weeks for answers.
As always, Go Dawgs(?), Go Tortilla Fight Boiz, Go America.
-Commish
