Week TEN Power Rankings - Adam Can't Hold His Waffles, Mike Can't Audit Fair Trades, and More!
Well today was eventful, wasn't it?? I woke up today in foggy Santa Monica to multiple texts from Michael T. Elliott, CPA asking for my opinion on "the trade." Being that it was 6:30am PST, I had no fucking clue what he was talking about. Once I got up to speed however, I realized he was just mad that Brooks talked Colby into a mildly one-sided trade (and I use the mildly word there very strongly.)
This is Bama complaining that Clemson might gain a leg up in the CFP. Sure, you're both looking to three-peat, but to everyone else it looks like bitchfighting. The rich keep getting richer I suppose. MAGA, am I right? Anyways, people are of course always free to vote on trades however they see fit, and to campaign for others to vote as well, but personally I hold my vote only for clear collusion. The McCaffrey/Mixon trade must never be allowed to happen again.
Speaking of voting... WOW. Who knew folks had such strong opinions on waffle-vomiting?! Especially folks who have zero shot at vomiting said waffles?! Given my proclivity of vomiting when around you guys, I'd think you would WANT me staying in WaHo for the full 24 hours. But overall though, I think Drayer brought it down to Earth appropriately. We were all a little late to the game in finalizing the loser's punishment this year, and votes of this magnitude do need to occur during the offseason. We’ll see how it goes this year and tweak it as we go along.
As for actual football, Colby handled me almost as easily as he handled that Louisville dude’s junk. Anytime Brooks loses is a good time. I hope to somehow continue those good times this week (lololol.) Jim had a good bounce back win against a resurgent Ben. Adam failed just a little bit less than Neil. Mike had nothing to complain about in a near point-doubling win against Broullire, bringing him back down to Earth a little bit. Broullire, you should have learned from Jim. Nobody has a good season right after having a child. It is a law of the Oltman. Finally, Collin took care of business against Drayer, keeping him in my warm comfy cellar while simultaneously failing to escape it fully himself.
Prop bet, which matchup this week has the highest point differential? Me v. Brooks? Mike v. Drayer? Someone else? Sound off in the group chat when you’ve got a guess and we’ll revisit this next week.
Until next week, unless Adam quits the league over something else stupid in the meantime,
-Commish
Onto the rankings: (VERY little movement this week. Mike joined the "greater than 99%" club)
12. - Colby's L'Ville Whistleblower - Jeff Ostenson
Current Record - 1-8, Projected Record - 2-11, Rank Change - SAME, Playoff Odds - 0%
11. - Doesn’tMatter HadSex - Matt Drayer
Current Record - 2-7, Projected Record - 3-10, Rank Change - SAME, Playoff Odds - 0%
10. - Colby Top, Jeff Bottom - Neil Bramblett
Current Record - 2-7, Projected Record - 4-9, Rank Change - SAME, Playoff Odds - 0%
9. - Bring Divisions Back - Ben Harbin
Current Record - 4-5, Projected Record - 5-8, Rank Change - Down 1, Playoff Odds - 2%
8. - Broullire’s FOMO - Collin Hopf
Current Record - 3-6, Projected Record - 5-8, Rank Change - Up 1, Playoff Odds - 5%
7. - Bagels And Brats - Jim Martin
Current Record - 5-4, Projected Record - 7-6, Rank Change - SAME, Playoff Odds - 68%
-----PLAYOFF LINE-----
6. - Frosted Tips 😎🔥 - Adam Schifter
Current Record - 6-3, Projected Record - 7-6, Rank Change - SAME, Playoff Odds - 71%
5. - Team Freddy T's Wifi - Colby Grant
Current Record - 6-3, Projected Record - 7-6, Rank Change - SAME, Playoff Odds - 78%
4. - Team Ro’Lo - Matt Broullire
Current Record - 6-3, Projected Record - 7-6, Rank Change - Down 1, Playoff Odds - 79%
3. - Team Cut Like Shredder - Wes Robertson
Current Record - 6-3, Projected Record - 9-4, Rank Change - Up 1, Playoff Odds - 98%
2. - It Was One Tit, One Time - Mike Elliott
Current Record - 7-2, Projected Record - 9-4, Rank Change - SAME, Playoff Odds - >99%
1. - Papa Terry's 2nd Mich Ultra - Brooks Sawyer
Current Record - 6-3, Projected Record - 9-4, Rank Change - SAME, Playoff Odds - >99%
I gotta board my red-eye flight, so I'm not going back over to italicize/bold everything like normal. Peace out bitches!
